Coming from a Coach this is a surprising statement. I’m supposed to have a positive relationship with you, hold you as creative resourceful and whole, and be highly focused on helping you think.
Whats the meaning here?
Last night was a busy night. I had to leave by 7:30 and my wife was having a group of moms come over to prepare loot bags for a school program. The kids that bed time was the time to fight over everything and through endless tantrums. By 7:15 our patience was really starting to wear thin. By 7:20 we were starting (lets say more in the middle) to lose our cool.
Now the fighters and tantrum throwers are 7 and 5 years old. And even though we sometimes expect them to act like adults, the reality is they are normal healthy kids and fighting and tantrums are part of what they do.
So why do two adults loose their cool over this?
One of the thoughts that came to my mind was that we were getting frustrated because we were concerned about what others were going to think.
You see for us the best response would have been to ignore the kids while they were having a cow. There is no communicating with them when they are in this state. They would eventually calm down and then we could get them to bed. But because guests were coming we needed to stop this right away, because we can’t have our kids acting this way when they arrive. What would they think??
So we got frustrated, we raised our voices they raised their voices, they tantrumed more we got frustrated more and by the time we finally got them into bed we were all drained and irritable.
Why? Because We cared about what other would think.
If we didn’t care we would have taken the better approach. The tantruming might have been shorter and the interactions healthier, by the time the kids got to sleep we would have been more relaxed and less exhausted. The learning experience would have been much better for the kids as well.
Sometimes we will break our standards, step out of alignment with our values and goals because we are worried about What others will think? We are so concerned with their interpretation of what they see that we are willing to sacrifice the best paths in our life’s journey. Not only do we prevent our own growth, but the frustration of being out of alignment causes us to not function at peak performance in other areas of our life as well. When our mind is in a negative state it is hard to accomplish much positive.
So though it is important to care and respect our fellow man. When it comes to making the right choices in life, sometimes you cant give a Damn what they think.
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