Rob Moshe

It’s hard to believe that it has been almost a month since my last post. On the other hand it is quite believable, as will soon be clear.

About two weeks ago I was speaking with one of my colleagues. He is the president of his volunteer organization and he was feeling burned out. I could see that he was taking on a lot in his desire to succeed and I could see how that was negatively impacting him. I had recently read about Deepak Chopra’s daily routine and shared it with him.

Deepak gets up at 4am does two hours of meditation and two hours of exercise, he then goes golfing for 4 hours and then has a leisurely lunch with good friends for 2 hours. He starts his work day at 2pm and is in bed by 10pm. I am sure between 2 and 10 he also spends time with family and has dinner.

So assuming he puts in 5-6 hours a day, Chopra manages to write 2 bestsellers a year and go on his many speaking engagements. I imagine that he did not start this habit after he became successful, but its because of these habits that he became who he is today.

I explained to my colleague if he wanted to succeed he needed to stop trying to accomplish everything and narrow his focus. And by focusing on one thing and bringing it to brilliant fruition he would be able to achieve far more.

Ironically I had a coaching session with my coach (yes even I need one) later that day, and when I couldn’t think of anything I wanted to work on for that session, my coach suggested we focus on how I manage to function when I take on so much. Talk about dejavu, but this time the lens was on me. By the end of the session I too realized that I have been juggling way to many things.

After the call I sat down with my wife to see just how many things I’ve been juggling. The count was no less than 10. The next obvious question was, if success is part of my game plan what was my next step? The answer was simple. Leave the juggling to the entertainers but remove it from my life.

Since then I have already removed 4 self imposed obligations from the list already. My goal is to get down to two.

Where are you at??

Coaching Questions:

How many things are you juggling right now?

How is this preventing you from truly succeeding in life?

What would your life look like if you dedicated your energy towards one or two objectives?

What is your next step?

A good friend of mine (C.G.)has been battling cancer for the past year and a half. When he was originally diagnosed, the prognosis was basically get your things in order there is no coming through this. C.G’s basic response was “If you are not here to help me win, I will find someone who is”. He was very careful to distance himself from anyone who thought that this was a loosing battle. He only surrounded himself with people who were supportive of, and believed in his ability to survive the disease. After a few months of Chemo, much to the surprise of the doctors, he was able to beat it and go into temporary remission. Unfortunately a few months later the Cancer returned with a lot more determination.

Again C.G prepared for battle, not willing to give up in anyway. And no matter how strong the cancer attacked C.G. tried to fight back.

At the begging of the week I went to visit C.G and was shocked by his recent changes. He had taken a major turn for the worse in the two weeks since I’d last seen him. Later in the week I was told that two weeks prior he had spoken to the doctor and was told that there is nothing left to do, and it’s all palliative care now.  What was interesting, was the fact that there didn’t seem to be a major physical reason for the health change. The main difference was that when I went to speak to C.G. that day, it was the first time I really heard him talking about dying.

I can’t say this for a fact, but I really wonder if the turn in his health was less about the disease itself and more about the mental shift that takes place.

I beleive that he will find the strength within to keep fighting and with G-d’s help overcome this challenge.

The lesson here is the power of your thoughts. C.G. new right from the start that the only chance he has it to keep a positive mental attitude and surround himself with people of the same mindset. Negative thoughts are not only mentally debilitating, but can also effect a person physically as well.

Creating a positive and tranquil mindset can help to eliminate dis-Ease from your mind and body.

Activity:

As you enter the weekend, take some time to reflect on the mental environment that you are creating for yourself.

Are you allowing negative thoughts and people to enter?
What steps can you take to create a more positive world for yourself?
What is the goal you are moving towards that will help you remain positive and calm throughout the challenging times.

How do you want to be?

Enjoy the weekend and have a wonderful Mothers Day.

 Photo by Julia Breckenreid

We all make mistakes.

It’s part of the process of being human. There is no such thing in our history as a person that didn’t make any mistakes.

When we are in a state of joy, we are able to function at peak levels of mental and physical performance.

When we become aware of the mistakes we make we can often become filled with guilt and remorse. Though it is OK to feel this way as an impetus for changing our ways. It is not healthy when we stay in this mental state. Guilt and sadness cause us to be dysfunctional mentally and physically.

It is often said that there is no success without failure.That being said in order to succeed you must be able to move past your mistakes. You have to have the courage to learn from the mistake and then move on.

In Judaism there is a 4 step process of repentance the idea is that once you go through the process you can move forward with an open mind and heart.

I feel the approach can be beneficial regardless of your belief system.

The 4 Step Process:

Step 1- Regret. This is where you have the opportunity to realize the impacts of your action, the frustration,
damage or negative impact that you caused. At this point it is good if you feel sadness/frustration
for your mistake. Before you move on to the next step make sure you have really internalized the
mistake, and that your regret is sincere.

Step 2- Confession. Verbally state the mistake that you made. Don’t be vague about it either. The
more articulate you can be the greater your ability to be truly aware of your
mistake and to avoid making the same mistake again.

Step 3- Forgiveness.  Again this is something that you speak out loud. If you beleive in a higher
reality that is involved in your life then you can ask that essence for forgiveness.
If the mistake you made was against another person, you should ask that person for
forgiveness. And yes, you should also ask your self for forgiveness. Receiving
forgiveness from others and forgiving yourself is a message that you should let
the mistake move from your present to your past and begin the process of
moving courageously forward.

Step 4 - Resolution.    This is where you make a firm commitment not to repeat the mistake in the future.
Again this should be a verbal commitment. When you speak something out loud you give
it substance. It engraves itself in your mind and our heart.

At this point you have to take the courageous step, and Let It Go.

You have dealt with the issue and now it is time to move forward towards success. It is time to clear your mind of sadness and frustration and return to your positive mental state.

All the best,

Rob

We are constantly told that our lives are a reflection of out thoughts and actions. People who think negatively all the times often lead very sad and depressing lives, and people who think positively often lead very fulfilling lives.

So in your marriage, are you choosing to think lovingly about your spouse?

When you were dating you were always focused on the positive, and as a result you had a beautiful relationship that lead up to marriage.

But then for some reason after marriage we begin to find things that we want to change and correct in our spouse. And then it gets to the point when we stop focusing on the good at all and all we focus on is the bad. We then wonder were the love went.

Try this. Whenever you find you want to correct something in your spouse. First decide if it is really so necessary. In most cases you will find it is never necessary. Second, think positive thoughts about your spouse.

About your husband - Loving, dedicated, handsome, caring, supportive, good father, etc.

About your wife - Beautiful, Loving, graceful, self sacrificing, wonderful mother, etc.

I have often found that when I am starting to feel frustrated about something my spouse does I just begin to focus on how grateful I am that I have been blessed with such a beautiful and amazing wife.

Give it a try. For the next few minutes, just think about how special your spouse is, how fortunate you are to have such a spouse. Reflect on that feeling. I’m sure you’ll agree that it is much better than the feeling you have when you criticize.