What is it that holds us back from change?

What prevents us from stepping away from that which is holding us back, and growing into our highest potential?

Fear?

Habit?

Laziness?

Self Confidence?

I was listening to a lecture by David Lapin where he was addressing this idea. He discusses that the greatest enemy of change is Comfort.

When we are comfortable with our situation change is completely impossible. Fear, habit, laziness and self confidence are things we can more easily pinpoint. Comfort is the most devious because we are oblivious to the possibility that there is even something in our life that requires change.

There is a experiment that was done with frogs back in the 1800’s. If you dropped a frog into a pot of boiling water, it would jump out immediately. But if you put the frog in a cold pot of water and slowly increased the heat, the the frog would not even notice the temperature change and die before it even had a chance to realize the trouble it was in.  Being in a constant state of comfort is that slow boiling of the water. If we are not careful we might reach the end of our life and not even realize the deadly path we had taken ourselves down.

If comfort is holding us back from change what can we do?

The opposite of comfort is DIScomfort and the more extreme pain. Discomfort/Pain are the propellers of change.

How should we perceive pain?  Positively.  When we experience pain it is a message that change needs to happen. The discomfort tells us to stop think, and change your course of action.

Imagine not being able to experience any pain. Do you think that would be something wonderful?

There is a rare disease called CIPA where the patient doesn’t feel any pain, heat or cold.

I found an article
American girl feels no pain and smiles to her own blood
Here’s a piece from it.

“When the girl was 12 months, she could easily bite her own finger off and feel no pain at all. When she was three years old, she put her hand on a red-hot oven, and burnt her skin. Parents were shocked, when they saw blood all over the kitchen, while their daughter was sitting there smiling. The girl can also bite her tongue through when she eats. “This is not a gift from heaven, this is a curse!” the girl’s mother exclaims.”

Most patients with CIPA die by the age of 25.

In truth it is our ability to feel discomfort and pain that help us to live, long, healthy and vibrant lives.

If I’ve been comfortable up until now. How do I begin to feel discomfort?

The first step is to take time to remove the distractions. Movies, watching sports, TV are vehicles that we use to distract us from change. Though on occasion these pastimes can be entertaining, if done on a daily basis they are just a way for us to turn off our minds and avoid thinking of the tough things in life.

So pick a time in the day that you are going to turn off the distractions and begin to think and feel. Be in a quite space and just take the time to think. Think about your past, your future, your present.  Pay attention to the feelings inside you as you reflect on your life.

When you come upon something that brings about discomfort. You might feel a sinking feeling in your stomach or a tightening in your chest, you might even begin to cry. When you come upon that feeling embrace it. Take the time to dwell in it. Try to discover its source. The pain is there because it wants to send you a message for change. Try to analyze the source and see where you can make changes.

Now there is a cautionary note. Remember that pain is a vehicle for change. It is not a destination.  When you feel a discomfort it is an opportunity to make change and move into a state of feeling good. There are those that think that pain is the place to be and the spend all there time there. Don’t wallow in pain. This is not about feeling sorry for yourself and having pity parties.

Feel the discomfort and change now.

If a smoker is in the middle of a heart attack. He will not take another drag from his cigarette he will quit now. He will not say I’ll stop smoking tomorrow.

Today is the time to take action, to make your commitments.
Saying I will start tomorrow is the same as saying “I’m never going to do it”

Effective use of discomfort will help change today. Living with your intellect will cause you to try and change tomorrow.
But that is just a way of pushing it off till the pain goes away and tomorrow becomes comfortable.

This past week I began working on a new project which I am very excited about. It is a site that will be focused on growing the Professional Coaching field.
Initially I was going to build it in the framework of a multi-user blog, but then found a seemingly impressive open source content management system called Joomla.
Being excited and impatient and not taking the time to design the complete process, I immediately downloaded the software and began teaching myself how to use the system.
Yesterday it hit me, that in the past week I had numerous thoughts to blog about, but had not posted a single thing. In fact I was so focused on playing with Joomla that I didn’t take the time to write down the thoughts so I could blog on them later.

Now I could justify that there is the big picture of this great new project that is worthy of my focus, but the truth is that after 5 days, though I know much more about how the interface works, I am far from being able to complete the basics. Even with my ability to learn quickly, at this pace it will be weeks before I am done.

Fortunately I had my AhHa, and have stopped working on the area that doesn’t need me, and returned to the place that doesn’t happen without me.

I have smartened up and am now looking for a developer that will probably be able to accomplish the task in a day or so.

My mistake:
I indulged one of my old habits of doing everything myself, due to lack of patience and misperceived cost savings, and the belief that I always do it best (no matter what it is). I also assume that because I am working nonstop I am being very efficient.

My lesson learned:
When I indulge these old habits I end up being highly ineffective. I spread myself over a number of tasks that I am mediocre at, and there for pull myself away from the tasks that are my strong points and give me the greatest return for the effort. It doesn’t save me any money. In fact the amount of money wasted in the past week will far surpass the amount that it will cost me to hire a developer on Elance, who will finish the task in a few hours.

Forward Focus:
Five minutes of planning, can save days of time wasted. Next time I am ignited by an exciting idea I will take a few minutes to set an effective strategy on how to approach the project, and realize where I will create the most value and where I should be outsourcing.

Next week is looking great…