Rob Moshe

You’ve read so much.

“Think and Grow Rich” – Napoleon Hill

“The Magic of Thinking Big” – David Schwartz

“Creating Wealth” – Robert Allen

“Unlimited Power” – Anthony Robbins

“The Go-Giver” – Bob Burg and John David Mann

and so much more.

To your frustration you don’t find yourself so much further ahead than before you started reading. You’re wondering why you ever bothered reading these books in the first place, you can’t even talk about them at parties. Who wants to here your success opinions if you are not succeeding?

I’m going to share with you a three step approach that will not only move you toward success but will also save you money on books and possibly shrink your library.

What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun.
- King Solomon

Step 1: It’s time to FOCUS

Have you ever reflected on how so many success books start with the same forward “Why another book on success”?

They all say the same thing. The title may be different, the text arranged in story format or pictures, but at the end of the day the message is more or less the same.
So why do the authors keep writing and we keep buying? You read a book, think the ideas are great. A few months later you see another book, you know that you have a success book at home on the shelf, but your situation hasn’t improved, so you figure it probably wasn’t that good and you decide that maybe this one will do the trick. Wrong.

There is little wrong with the book (especially if you enjoyed it), what is needed is a shift in your approach.

So for step one lets begin to focus ourselves. Choose a book from your shelf that you really enjoyed. The ideas were strong and the reading was easy. Next get out a highlighter a pen and some paper. The more you engage yourself in the book the more you will get out of it.

As you read the book highlight ideas that stand out to you. Make notes on each chapter, put it in your own words. The ideas in a 150+ page book can be condensed to around 10 pages. Take ownership of the ideas, reflect on them and work with them till they become your own.

The goal is not to cover as much ground as possible. Read one chapter at a time and really “Get it”. If you cant write out the concept in the chapter in a short sentence then go back through it until you can.

When you finish this process the concepts in the book will no longer belong exclusively to the author, they will also have become yours.

Step 2: Lets Take Action

Knowing is not enough; we must apply! – Goethe

Action is the ultimate key to your success. The reason books don’t bring us success is because we read read each chapter, like the ideas and action steps, say that we will apply them after we finish the book, finish the book put it on the shelf and forget about it. Its like getting a membership to every fitness club in the city, never going and then complaining that you are not in shape.

You have to have to apply the knowledge for it to become valuable.

So the next step in our process is to decide what to take action on. Well if you have gone through the first step, then you have some great notes and ideas on how to build your success. Go through your notes and pick three action steps that you want to focus on for the next week. When you have picked the ideas right them down on a sheet, putting the three action steps at the top of the page. Below the actions steps make a 3 X 7 table with enough room to write down a few sentences in the boxes.

Before you go to bed reflect on the action step and state your intention to develop them within your self, and in the morning do the same thing. Be aware through out the day of opportunities to apply these action steps, because the opportunities for success are always there. At the end of the day reflect on how you applied each action step, what you could improve, and what you did well. Repeat the process for a week and then add 3 more action steps. By the time a month has passed you will have taken 12-15 action steps and you will be seeing greater success.

Step 3: Accountability
If action is the key, then accountability is the lock. Action is so important you can’t move forward without it, but if you try to put the wrong key in the lock the door wont open.
There are to areas of accountability:

1. To the process – You are going to ensure that your focus and action is properly directed. You will be accountable in making sure that you choose a path and stick to it.is ensuring that your focus and action are directed towards your goal.
2. To Yourself – you have made the commitment to take action. Don’t let yourself down.

So in this final step you will need to find a way to be accountable to the process and to yourself. Accountability in the process means reflecting weekly on the overall approach you have decided to take, and to make sure that you are not negatively modifying the process. Negatively modifying means changing the process because you are lazy and looking for excuses. If you see there is a way to make the process more effective then cautiously modify.

Being accountable to yourself can be accomplished in a few ways;

You can set up strong reward motivations for your self (A new outfit, a day at the spa, concert, etc.) to help you stay on track.
Maybe when you tell others this keeps you accountable.
Blog about it.
State your commitment 2-3 times a day.
There you have it.
The end of ill used reading has arrived. The simple process of Focus, Action, Accountability, will prevent your books from becoming dusty paper weights and book end, and transform them in to powerful tools for growth and success.

Read On.

This past week I began working on a new project which I am very excited about. It is a site that will be focused on growing the Professional Coaching field.
Initially I was going to build it in the framework of a multi-user blog, but then found a seemingly impressive open source content management system called Joomla.
Being excited and impatient and not taking the time to design the complete process, I immediately downloaded the software and began teaching myself how to use the system.
Yesterday it hit me, that in the past week I had numerous thoughts to blog about, but had not posted a single thing. In fact I was so focused on playing with Joomla that I didn’t take the time to write down the thoughts so I could blog on them later.

Now I could justify that there is the big picture of this great new project that is worthy of my focus, but the truth is that after 5 days, though I know much more about how the interface works, I am far from being able to complete the basics. Even with my ability to learn quickly, at this pace it will be weeks before I am done.

Fortunately I had my AhHa, and have stopped working on the area that doesn’t need me, and returned to the place that doesn’t happen without me.

I have smartened up and am now looking for a developer that will probably be able to accomplish the task in a day or so.

My mistake:
I indulged one of my old habits of doing everything myself, due to lack of patience and misperceived cost savings, and the belief that I always do it best (no matter what it is). I also assume that because I am working nonstop I am being very efficient.

My lesson learned:
When I indulge these old habits I end up being highly ineffective. I spread myself over a number of tasks that I am mediocre at, and there for pull myself away from the tasks that are my strong points and give me the greatest return for the effort. It doesn’t save me any money. In fact the amount of money wasted in the past week will far surpass the amount that it will cost me to hire a developer on Elance, who will finish the task in a few hours.

Forward Focus:
Five minutes of planning, can save days of time wasted. Next time I am ignited by an exciting idea I will take a few minutes to set an effective strategy on how to approach the project, and realize where I will create the most value and where I should be outsourcing.

Next week is looking great…

I wrote this post back in October of 2006. It’s amazing the impact getting off autopilot. The off season becomes a time for regrouping and re-energizing, and sometimes even starting new things (I started my Coaching Path in the off season of 2007)

………

I am an avid Squash player, I play 4 times a week, Monday-Thursday. I consider myself an OK player, but yesterday it seemed as if it was my first time on the court. Reflecting on the situation (while I was playing) I came to the conclusion that my overall attitude was affecting my ability to play.

I am entering my slow season for my label business ( www.label-land.com ) , and when business is down so is my mood. Then I got wondering if I am like this every November? Further reflection showed that for the past 4 years November to January tend to be months where I spend my time in a more down and negative state.

This realization got me thinking. Though my season was slowing down, it is still far from dead, so why was I already feeling down. Also when I though about what I was doing to improve business at this time, the answer was a resounding “nothing”. I was not working to improve business at all.

Why was I acting this way?

Then it hit me! I was on auto pilot.
The first few years of starting a business can be financially challenging and the times that will always be slow are even more pronounced in the beginning. The problem is that sometimes we can lock in the habit of getting in to a certain mood even before the time arrives. Subconsciously I told myself that for the past three years this has been a down and depressing time, so I might as well get a jump on things and start feeling lousy now.

Awareness proceeds change.

Now that I know the cause I needed a solution.

-you ready

Become Activated.

It’s so easy to get caught up in the routines of life. I’m sure most of us have found our self in that last month before the end of the year, wondering what happened to all our resolutions, why we are still in the same situation we were 11 months ago.

The process of self activation, is taking defined steps to bring about change. The steps should be small so you don’t get overwhelmed by the process.

Example time.

Say you want to loose weight. You decide that a good approach would be to start cutting down on your sugar intake. To cut it out completely would be very difficult, but say that we just started with your coffee. Usually you put two heaping spoons of sugar. For you next cup put one heaping spoon and one level spoon. After a week level both spoons. Another week one and a half spoons, and in the next week one spoon.

Now that might not seem like such a big deal but lets look at the big picture. Say you drink three cups of coffee a day, you were originally consuming 50 calories of sugar/cup (12 grams of sugar) and you cut it down to 15 calories/cup (4 grams of sugar). Over the course of a year you will decrease your calorie intake by 38,325 calories, which could help you knock off about 13 pounds (3000 calories to a pound).

By activating your self with little steps you will soon find that you have accomplished great things.

So what do you do to get started. Here is the tough part. Take out a pen and paper – most people get stuck at this step. You might have to take out a pencil for one week and add paper the next week and write on the paper in the third week ( Just kidding ) – and write down what you want to accomplish and what small steps you are going to take, and the time frame that you will take for each task.

After a month review your goals and you will be empowered by what you have accomplished.

Turn off the auto pilot. Become Activated. Unleash your ultimate potential.

Every year there is a strange event in Pamplona, Spain, it is called “The Running of the Bulls”.
First they dump the bulls into a river which really ticks them off, then the crowds of people prod and chase them down a long crowded street, and as the bulls run down the street the people throw rocks and hit them with sticks, and basically do everything in their power to torture and aggravate these poor animals. The bulls arrive at the stadium where they are caged and continue to be antagonized. Finally a bull is released into the stadium, and before he has a chance to calm down the Matador comes out waiving his RED cape. For some reason this brings the bull into a total rage and he charges the Matador. Unfortunately for the bull the Matador also has a sword, and he uses it to slowly kill the bull, a stab here a slash there and the bull eventually collapses from exhaustion, and blood loss. With a flair of showmanship the Matador runs the sword through the bulls heart. If the bull where to have a thought in that last moment, it might have been “I really shouldn’t have gotten worked up over a silly red cape!”

You get up in the morning ready for a fine day, just as you are getting up from the table you knock your coffee over and it spills on your crisp white shirt and freshly pressed pants (argh). You change in to yesterday’s suit because the rest are at the drycleaners. Now you are late and in a bad mood. You get on the packed subway, and a woman in stiletto heals backs up onto your foot, a kid with an overstuffed knapsack knocks into your briefcase and it pops open causing your reports for the boss, to fall to the ground, oh yeah I forgot it was raining and the ground was wet. Wrinkled sore and irritated you get to your office to find a teenage boy in a RED shirt sitting at your desk playing with your computer. You loose it you verbally blast the boy and harshly send him crying from your office. Ends up it’s the boss son (the sword). I hear McDonalds is hiring.

If in a calm and objective state of mind we reflect on the times were we have lost our cool, and we evaluate the triggers, the red capes as it were, that set us off, we would realize that they were quite silly things that never should have gotten us going.

Why do we get angry in the first place, and how can we control ourselves in these situations?

I think one of the main reasons we get angry is because we tend to take EVERYTHING personally. In our own minds we are superstars. When we are walking down the street talking on the phone and reading our blackberry and someone knocks into us we think “Why doesn’t’ that person watch were they our going. I’m an important man doing important things. They have some nerve.”

When we come into this world we think that everything revolves around us, creation is here to serve our every need. Unfortunately we don’t completely grow out of it.

So for starters start cultivating the awareness that the world isn’t created for us alone. There are other people that also have their own tasks to fulfill. Next start noticing the RED capes that get you angry. When you begin to get angry ask yourself it this really something to get mad about or is it just a silly thing that I am taking personally. If its not worth getting angry over take a deep breath say to yourself “this is not worth getting angry about, I am now going to regain my calm and composure.”, and just let it go.

One other thing I recommend is to find a situation where you often find yourself getting angry and dedicate your energy to remaining calm. I do this with Sqaush (the Sport not the food). It often happened that my opponent would make bad calls that would aggravate the heck out of me, and completely throw me off my game. I decided that I would try to just let things slide. Whether he was write or wrong it was just a game, nothing worth getting wound up over. So from that point on whenever my opponent made what I thought was a bad call, I wouldn’t get mad or argue I would just let it slide, and when I would make a call that may opponent didn’t like, I wouldn’t become defensive, I would just let it slide.

Though occasionally I slip, for the most part I don’t get angry in our games any more, and as a result of it I have to great benefits. One, my game has improved because I can stay more focused whey I am calm, and two I find that this attitude has spilled over into other areas of my life, and I have begun to remain calm in situations that it the past would have caused anger and frustration.

Fortunately for us we are not bulls, we have the ability to consciously choose how we will respond in any situation. Choose to work on becoming a calm person. Choose to not be effected by RED capes. Good luck.

(Updated July 26,2009)

Coaching Questions:

What are the things that seem to spark me off?

How are my reactions related to my energy levels?

What is going through my mind when I begin to get angry?

What can I focus on in order to remain calm?

What would it mean to me to remain calm in any situation?

How can staying calm enhance my relationships?