Rob Moshe

I apologize for this less than stellar post it has been a while since I posted last and am just stretching my writing muscles again.

I sit here in amazement as I realize how much time has passed since I last posted, so much had happened in the past months that I hardly know where to begin.

In the beginning of August I decided to take a long needed family vacation. I had been going full steam for the past 9 years building up my online label business, starting my Professional Coaching journey, growing a school, and a dozen other projects.  As well I have been blesses with an amazing wife who I have shared in the journey life and of raising 4 wonderful children (the oldest in almost 8).  And tragically I lost a very close friend this past May who fought an incredible battle with Cancer, but sadly left this world at 34 leaving behind a very special wife and two little children.

Needless to say it was time for a little sabbatical.

My September plan was to get back to work growing my Professional Coaching practice.  It is my passion and I am good at it. It made sense to just continue on the path I was currently on, but as the saying goes Man Plans and God Laughs.

With the time off in August I had some great opportunities for reflection, and with that came some amazing awareness.  The biggest awareness was that September was not going to be just doing the same thing. I realized that there was a need for a major shift.  I needed to shift from being fully focused on giving to others and begin to focus on giving to myself, or more specifically cultivating self.

I realized that if I was going to serve others as a Husband, Father, Friend, Coach etc., I would do so at a much higher level if I had a greater sense of self a fuller awareness of purpose.

It has been 4 months since I began this journey and though it is far from over I do feel that it is time to step back in.

Over the next few weeks I will begin to share many of the things that I have learned not only in the past 4 month, but the great lessons that I have begun to remember from that past 37 years of my journey through life.

I use the work share because I have no intention of telling you what you should do. My desire it to share ideas and perspectives in order that you can reflect on and discover the path that is best for you.

I do know that the things that I am doing now are already beginning to have a massive impact in my life, and I know that this can also happen for you.

I would like to get you to stretch yourself a bit before the next post, so I will leave you with a question.

When is the last time you really to some time to stop and reflect on you and how do you think your answer has been impacting your life?

Enjoying a reflective walk in the forest with a client yesterday, I noticed that several times he used the phrase If only.

Today as I was sitting at my computer, and as a result of a recent email, I checked a quote for a stock I once had invested in. When I sold it, I made a profit. It eventually went down to 50 cents, but today it was trading $5.

I immediately found myself thinking, If only I had kept that stock. If only I had bought more shares when it was at 50 cents.

If only… If only.

What are some of your If onlys?

• If only I would have married…
• If only I would have dated…
• If only I would have studied…
• If only I would have chosen…
• If only I had… I could have had…

Where does this type of thinking lead you?

Returning to the Past

Probably back into the past. It reminds you of choices you could have made and failures that resulted from not having made that set of choices. Perhaps it leaves you feeling frustrated or depressed, because you’re not nearly as far along as you’d like to be.

How well does this type of thinking serve you? How well does it help you get closer to achieving your goals and dreams?

As you take a moment to reflect, I am sure you realize that being frustrated with the If only‘s  and What ifs of your past doesn’t serve you in a positive way. Living with past disappointments holds you back from achieving successes in the future.

So what can you do if struck by an If only?

ROAR

I’m not suggesting that you pretend you’re a lion and roar away, although I wouldn’t be surprised if that released some endorphins, made you smile and increased your overall feeling of well being.

Reflect – Take your self back to the situation. Try to understand what thoughts and feelings were at play when you made your choices.

Options – If a similar situation were to present itself again, what choices might you make? What thoughts and emotions might you draw upon?

Action – Once you decide the options that would work best, what will be your action plan when a similar situation would present itself in the future.

Reflect Forward – Imagine a time in the future when this situation presents itself again. See yourself taking Action on the Options  you have chosen. Spend the time to savor the feelings that arise from this forward reflective process.

By going through this type of process, you free yourself from the negative life impact of living in the past and instead harness your life learning to drive yourself forward to future successes.

Just a short note on punctuality. Don’t want anyone to be late because of reading this.

Very often when it comes to being on time for an appointment or meeting, we perceive things from the “me” perspective.

I want to be on time because it shows I’m reliable, efficient and a man of my word.

I don’t want to be late, because he/she/they will think badly of me.

But we can also look at things from the “them” perspective.

When you arrive on time you demonstrate that you respect the other person, and that you value their time. When you’re late, you demonstrate the exact opposite.

A good way to develop the habit of punctuality is to reflect on the times that people have kept you waiting, and what ill effects it caused. Maybe it threw the rest of your day’s meetings off, or it caused you to be late for your child’s baseball game, or you missed your favorite show. Then the next time you have an appointment, take the time to realize how your being late could effect the other person.

In today’s high tech age it is easy to get thrown off. One more cell phone call, or text message, or tweet. Value the time of the people you set appointments with. It will really pay off.

Now hurry up and be on time!

I’ve been speaking with peers on different ideas for projects we’d like to begin. For the most part we are all in the same phase of our projects, the procrastination phase.

The hardest part in any task is starting. The difficulty lays it trying to change our set patterns; we are attempting to add something new.

This can be scary, as not many people like to step out of their comfortable routines.

I suggest finding the smallest, easiest task to complete and just do it. After you complete the first task, pick the next task up. Continue this process, and soon you’ll find your project nearing completion and you’ll be doing things that in the beginning you were too afraid to touch.

Accomplishing your goals can be like rolling a snowball down a hill. In the beginning it’s only a tiny snowball, not much to look at, but as you roll it down it begins to grow. Soon it has become so large that it moves on its own momentum. It carries itself.

However, if you don’t take the first step you’ll never get anywhere.

Recent studies have shown that it is far easier to create new habits then it is to try and break old ones. In fact the act of trying to break an old habit causes you to focus on it, which leads to a re-enforcement of the habit. Better to focus on something totally different.

Take action now!