You want to improve and grow. You decide that you want to work on something and you begin to focus on it relentlessly. You try to cultivate the habit, but for some reason it is difficult to move forward. Maybe instead of going forward you need to go the other way????
At first glance this seems like an odd statement ‘If I want to be good at something do the opposite’, but often the place to focus on is just that.
Lets look at a few examples.
Say you want to become a good public speaker.- You might think that the best thing to do is start talking as much as possible. Join your local Toastmasters club, speak up at every opportunity, volunteer for speaking events etc. Though these are important elements, in the learning process of becoming a great speaker, the first thing you have to do is be sure you are a great listener. In order for your words to be well received by others, they have to first know that you are listening to them, that you understand what they want, what they care about, so when you speak you are speaking “To” them, not “At” them. Listening doesn’t just mean when others are speaking, listening is also an intuitive process, where you can hear what others are saying even when the room is silent. A great orator, can read the crowed, by listening intuitively he can tell when the audience is with him, or when they are losing focus and need to be spoken to differently. We have two ears and one mouth, if our ears are being used properly our mouth will be that much more effective.
To receive more love, you have to give more love. – The root of the Hebrew word for love -Ahava – is “Hav”, which means ‘give’. When you show others that you love them, by making them feel valued and respected, by giving of your time and sincerity, you will ultimately receive love back.
To receive more success, you have to give more value. - You can not have enduring success in your business if you do not first give value to your customers. When you exceed customer expectations, when you create quality products and services, when your customer service is top notch, your customers will not only continue buying from you but will also recommend others.
To have more patience, you have to limit expectations. - How do most people work on being more patient? A situations arises you begin to feel irritated by it, you decide that you are going to work on your patience, so you try and sit with an external appearance of calmness, while inside you are seething. You are not working on patience, you are working on discipline, you are training yourself not to explode, but you are not becoming more patient. When you have an expectation of something and it doesn’t go your way that is when you lose your cool. If you can work on letting go of your expectations, realize that everyone and every situation will not go according to how you feel it should, you will soon begin to feel true internal patience.
Want to look better on the outside, work on your inside. – This one is so obvious, which is why most of us miss it. Fill your body will physical and emotional trash, and do zero exercise and you will look like an unhealthy, pasty blob. In the past few days people sent us a whole bunch of tasty treats which I devoured in a short period of time. I woke up this morning with super puffy eyes and an exhausted and toxic body. I looked and felt like garbage. Fill your body with nourishing food, your mind with positive and healthy thoughts, and exercise regularly and you will look vibrant, healthy and attractive.
If you are struggling with moving forward it might just mean you need to go in a different direction.
The taller the tree the deeper its roots, the taller the building the deeper and more solid its foundations.