We like to think that we have two identities.
The first one is the one that only we know about. You know, the one with the pretty good qualities, but it also has its fair share of weaknesses, bad habits and character flaws.
The second identity is the one we show the rest of the world. This is the identity that works hard to put its best traits forward, and make every effort to cover up and underplay the weaknesses, bad habits and character flaws.
Yesterday I was shocked and amazed when I came to the discovery that…We only have ONE identity.
The secret is out. As you see yourself, others see you.
How did I come upon this realization?
In pursuing my career in Professional Coaching (Business/Life not sports), I hired a personal branding coach, to help me market myself effectively. One of the tasks was to sent out a survey to my family, friends and peers and have them rate me based on personality, voice tone, world impact and appearance. They also had to answer a few questions. Two question dealt with my strengths and the other with my weaknesses.
When looking at the perception ratings and the question on my strengths I was pleased to find a consistency in their ratings of me (so far 19ppl responded). I work hard to put my best foot forward and it was rewarding to know that I am achieving that goal.
What truly blew me away was the consistency in their critiques of me. All the things that hold me back from reaching my best, the things that I try to hide while I work on them, all this time have been in plain site.
Though you would think that this awareness would cause a sense of dread and embarrassment, it seemed to have an opposite effect.
The fact that others are aware of my weaknesses, seemed to make them more real. I can’t just leave them to the side anymore. I either have to work hard to change the things I want to improve, or accept the reality that if I don’t change them they will be on display to the world for the rest of my life. And because the critique was sandwiched between two questions that elicited positive responses, I actually feel more motivated to make the changes and reach my fullest potential.
Though it’s humbling to know that others are aware of your weaknesses, it is encouraging to know that those same people believe so strongly in your ability to succeed.
I also want to take this opportunity to thank those who participated in the survey. I acknowledge your courage in being honest and direct, and I am blessed to have such amazingly supportive and encouraging family and friends.
