1. Creating Habits

My four and a half year old just started nursery this year. She came a month late in the school year, and as a result has been taking a little while to settle in. One of the things that stood out to me, was that she would stand uncomfortably at the entrance of her classroom while her classmates were already settling in, and if given the opportunity she would begin to ask me to stay or to take her. This is not a habit that I wanted developed.
So today I thought I would try to encourage a new action. Five minutes before I took her to school I began to create the new action. I said excitedly “You know, the most fun way to start school is to walk into class say good morning to everyone and walk to your hook, hand up you jacket and bag, and go to your table and start playing with your classmates.” We then reviewed the idea a few times, each time me saying less of the sentence and my daughter saying more. And with each time I would build the excitement and cheer her on as if it were her own Idea.
When we got to the class there was a moment of hesitation, she looked back at me and I said “you know what to do and she said good morning walked to her hook and started taking her bag and jacket off. And the best part of it, was that she had a big, giggly smile. It was the first time I had seen her smile like that at the start of class in three weeks.
On my way home I realized two things.
One. I would have to repeat this a few more times until it became habit.
Two. This is a great way to develop habits for all of us.
I think the key element to developing a new habit is the emotional power placed behind it. For example you might have a hard time getting up in the morning, but if your best friend that you haven’t seen for ten years is coming to town and you need to pick him up at 6:00am from the airport, you are up at 4:30am before the alarm even goes off. The greater the emotional energy the greater the effect.
Apply this to creating a new habit by getting excited about what you are going to do. To use the example of getting up in the morning, say to yourself excitedly and with passion;
-I am going to wake up on time tomorrow!
-I am going to wake up feeling refreshed tomorrow!
-When the alarm goes off, I will hit the off button, take a deep breath, sit-up, take a deep breath, stand up, take a deep breath, stretch, take a deep breath, and take on the day.
Say this a few times before bed. Each time with more energy.
And when you get up in the morning, don’t feel bad if you end up hitting the snooze button a few times. Habits aren’t created overnight. But make sure you try to do the other steps; breathing, sitting, standing, stretching.
And even if it goes perfectly tomorrow, remember that habit take time to develop. For a few days or weeks you will still have to enthusiastically repeat your plan.
Find a habit that you want to create.
Write down the steps required to develop the habit.
Read it over a few times enthusiastically.
Re-read it for a few days or weeks until it becomes habit
Let me know how it went.