It’s truly facinating the way we are created.  On the one hand we are able to change and adapt to the world around us, and on the other hand we are highly resistant and fearful of change.

It would seem that when change is forced upon us we change and adapt, but if it is optional we avoid.

Why?

Because a body at rest stays at rest.

When we are comfortable where we are we resist change. Even being unhappy or in pain isn’t enough.  Have you ever had a headache but are too resistant to get out of bed to take a Tylenol?  How about that relationship that you are in that you should have ended months or years ago?

Growth comes through change, but we fear the change because we don’t know what will be when the change has taken place.

In previous posts I have spoken about the importance of having a vision.  When you are clear on your vision you can then evaluate where you are and then what action is required to close the gap.

When you begin to think about what actions will help you get from where you are to where you want to be, notice what thoughts make you feel a bit fearful and resistant. When you get that feeling it is a strong sign that taking action in those areas will lead you rapidly to your success.

And with your vision strongly etched in your mind you have a sense of what will be on the other side of change.  The stronger your vision the easier it will be to break through your wall of fear.

Need some help breaking through your fear.  Sign up for a free 30 min session.

What prevents us from stepping away from that which is holding us back, and growing into our highest potential?

Fear?

Habit?

Laziness?

Self Confidence?

I was listening to a lecture by David Lapin where he was addressing this idea. He discusses that the greatest enemy of change is Comfort.

When we are comfortable with our situation change is completely impossible. Fear, habit, laziness and self confidence are things we can more easily pinpoint. Comfort is the most devious because we are oblivious to the possibility that there is even something in our life that requires change.

There is a experiment that was done with frogs back in the 1800′s. If you dropped a frog into a pot of boiling water, it would jump out immediately. But if you put the frog in a cold pot of water and slowly increased the heat, the the frog would not even notice the temperature change and die before it even had a chance to realize the trouble it was in. Being in a constant state of comfort is that slow boiling of the water. If we are not careful we might reach the end of our life and not even realize the deadly path we had taken ourselves down.

If comfort is holding us back from change what can we do?

The opposite of comfort is DIScomfort and the more extreme pain. Discomfort/Pain are the propellers of change.

How should we perceive pain? Positively. When we experience pain it is a message that change needs to happen. The discomfort tells us to stop think, and change your course of action.

Imagine not being able to experience any pain. Do you think that would be something wonderful?

There is a rare disease called CIPA where the patient doesn’t feel any pain, heat or cold.

I found an article
American girl feels no pain and smiles to her own blood
Here’s a piece from it.

“When the girl was 12 months, she could easily bite her own finger off and feel no pain at all. When she was three years old, she put her hand on a red-hot oven, and burnt her skin. Parents were shocked, when they saw blood all over the kitchen, while their daughter was sitting there smiling. The girl can also bite her tongue through when she eats. “This is not a gift from heaven, this is a curse!” the girl’s mother exclaims.”

Most patients with CIPA die by the age of 25.

In truth it is our ability to feel discomfort and pain that help us to live, long, healthy and vibrant lives.

If I’ve been comfortable up until now. How do I begin to feel discomfort?

The first step is to take time to remove the distractions. Movies, watching sports, TV are vehicles that we use to distract us from change. Though on occasion these pastimes can be entertaining, if done on a daily basis they are just a way for us to turn off our minds and avoid thinking of the tough things in life.

So pick a time in the day that you are going to turn off the distractions and begin to think and feel. Be in a quite space and just take the time to think. Think about your past, your future, your present. Pay attention to the feelings inside you as you reflect on your life.

When you come upon something that brings about discomfort. You might feel a sinking feeling in your stomach or a tightening in your chest, you might even begin to cry. When you come upon that feeling embrace it. Take the time to dwell in it. Try to discover its source. The pain is there because it wants to send you a message for change. Try to analyze the source and see where you can make changes.

Now there is a cautionary note. Remember that pain is a vehicle for change. It is not a destination. When you feel a discomfort it is an opportunity to make change and move into a state of feeling good. There are those that think that pain is the place to be and the spend all there time there. Don’t wallow in pain. This is not about feeling sorry for yourself and having pity parties.

Feel the discomfort and change now.

If a smoker is in the middle of a heart attack. He will not take another drag from his cigarette he will quit now. He will not say I’ll stop smoking tomorrow.

Today is the time to take action, to make your commitments.
Saying I will start tomorrow is the same as saying “I’m never going to do it”

Effective use of discomfort will help change today. Living with your intellect will cause you to try and change tomorrow.
But that is just a way of pushing it off till the pain goes away and tomorrow becomes comfortable.

With all things, practice is the only way to become skilled at something. As a Professional Coaching Student I need to get serious practice if I am going to succeed at helping my clients reach peak levels of performance.

That being said my wife issued me a challenge. Don’t come up from the office until you have another client. She also told me I have to be home for dinner, so I only have a few hours.

So I am offering 5 of my readers a free 20 min coaching session.

In the 20 minutes we will;

• Hear the issue and clarify it
• Look at some strategies.
• Create and action plan.
• Devise a strategy for follow through.

A few things to keep in mind;

Coaching is not therapy – We will not be dwelling or delving into your past. Coaching is about the desire for growth and taking forward action to realize that growth.

Coaching is not a magic bullet – The more complex the issue the longer it takes to grow forward. In 20 minutes you can begin the process of change not complete it.

Coaching is fun – This it not those stereotypes where the coach yells and degrades the client. Personal and Life Coaching is about positive respect and positive relationships. We focus on your greatness not on your weakness.

Coaching will be done on the phone – If you are within North America I will call you, so you do not incur any long distance charges.
If you are interested just say “I’m Interested” in the comments section. For privacy reasons I will not post any of the participants in the comments section.

Rob Moshe

Do you want to move to the next stage in your personal or business growth? Check out our “Help 500″ Project. You have nothing to loose and everything to gain.